THE BIRTH OF DEATH...

The most unnerving silence in the world is when you know all the questions and you know how they ll be answered but you wait for them to form words. The fear is impeccable . the restlessness is heavy. And the wait lasts a lifetime. It is when the clock stops ticking. And you lose the sense of feeling. Its nothing. All that used to be and all that is, matter no more. You doubt your mere existence. Did it really happen? Was it real? And you solemnly wish these answers were not that obvious. The past is a silhouette you don’t recognize anymore, the present is a mist and the future ceases to exist. The habit of using we and us. When you abruptly stop talking as soon as you realize its just you now.  When every beep of the phone irks your spine with a chill, n u pick it up nt with some hope but just out of habit. Your conscience has crashed. The uncertainty that comes with the decision to be able to choose. The unreality of it all , is the only thing that makes you realize that you are still alive. Theres something inside you that gravitates you to the very bottom of whatever it is. It controls you. It confuses you. The helplessness. The total lack of self control. And hence the fear does not end. When will the pain stop. When will you cease to exist.

DEATH..a feared word. They say death is when a person stops breathing. Life comes to an end where death begins. No life for you anymore. It is remotely easy for a human being to die. One cut along the throat, a slash at your wrist, one hanging from the fan, one overdose of sleeping pills and it is done. But what about the other ways of death. Those more cruel ones that are not much talked about. The living dead. When your mere existence is put to question. Every breath you take is heavy.  The poison of silence. It sneaks into your system  And slowly and gradually take over everything. And one day when you pluck up the courage to look yourself in the mirror, the reflection is no more yours. These eyes used to be yours…this used to be you…is this not death..??? naa..NOT YET..

NOTHING HAS EVER COME OUT OF TEARS..!!

They say. The weakness that it brings with itself. The helplessness of not being able to call about some change. When directions seem meaningless. When the questions they ask are not meant for the answers you give. These faces you no more recognize. These relations you can no more call yours. Weren’t they yours to own one day. When the centre of the universe was not the sun but you. Those days did exist. But now you know y all stories start with a ‘’once upon a time’’…for there really was a ‘’once upon a time’’…you worry about umpteenth things- global warming, trade in china, jobs, melting glaciers..even the extinction of species…while I might be a little more concerned about the extinction of ‘’us’’ from my life..dreading tomorrow will bring with itself some more silence…

But for now it is  The death of curiosity.  The Death of will. The death of happiness. The death of hopes and dreams. All in one go. A new era unfolds itself within the horizon, BUT THIS TIME WITHOUT THE SUN.